


Of Memories And Letters

by NobodyCaresForYou



Series: Zim did nothing wrong AU [3]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Red is not, Zim's at peace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 01:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20883761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyCaresForYou/pseuds/NobodyCaresForYou
Summary: Another piece of 'It way always you', this time featuring Zim.





	Of Memories And Letters

**Author's Note:**

> I have no self control, I'm sorry.

Something didn't make sense.

Something was missing.

There was a dark spot in his PAKs memory drives Zim couldn't fill out or explain. It was just there, taunting him, making him question his own PAK and its abilities.

What had happened?

And why had he found a letter crammed into the little storage part of his PAK, apologizing to someone named 'Red' for some simple touching he seemed to have done?

Nothing, absolutely nothing made sense. He had never known someone with that name and he never had any friends to begin with, so why did he write a letter to this guy? And worst of all, why did he sound like a little smeet with too many emotions to handle?

-

~The Past~

It was gone.

The hissing was gone.

The beast was gone.

Red was gone, too.

Zim didn't know what he should have feared more in that moment.

He took in his surroundings, noting that he was covered in his clothes but not actually dressed in them, so he took care of that first.

His legs hurt when he tried to stand. No, every part of his body hurt. From the tips of his antennae to his toes he felt sore, but in a positive way. The sudden feeling of something leaking out of him wasn't so pleasant though. Zim shook with slight disgust and searched for something he could wipe himself down with.

That's when he realized the container was gone and the panic set in.

He made quick work of cleaning himself a little and dressing in his clothes, and then he heard the screaming outside of the lab.

And suddenly the roof over him was ripped away with a bloodcurdling roar.

~

Zim didn't know how he survived the whole ordeal, he just knew that it would have been better for him if he hadn't.

“Zim is to blame! He created that thing! I saw it in his lab with my own two eyes!”

“He is a murderer!”

“A defective! Who even allowed him to be born?!”

“You killed our leaders! You are a monster, Zim!”

Those were the tamest things he heard while he was dragged from the remains of the camp. He didn't dare look up so he kept his head hung between his shoulders, watching the dirt, blood and dead meat under him his creation had left behind.

He didn't know where they were taking him but he silently hoped for his deactivation by the Control Brains.

He was not guilty. 

Sure he made that beast and was technically its father but he hadn't let it out of its container. He would have never done so while it was on Irk. He may not think as much as he sometimes needed to and he mostly made rash decisions without a back-up plan but homicide? No. Never!

They came to a halt in front of a huge gray space ship, marked on its side with the insignia of Moo-Ping-Ten. So prison it was. Who he wouldn't have ever expected to stand next to it though was the best friend of the one who left him without a notice after their union.

Wait a sec..

Suddenly pieces clicked into place, dots connected and Zim felt his whole body freeze at the realization. He looked at the purple clad Irken feeling sick to his squeedlyspooch.

The beast was gone and would have been alone in the lab. But he hadn't been alone, not after Red..

He heaved violently and puked straight to Purple's feet. The taller one stepped away in disgust and crossed his arms in front of his breast armor.

“Not the reaction I had expected after what you've done.” Purple said after Zim was done puking. He looked at the taller one in irritation.

“After what I.. have done?” Zim bared his teeth at Purple. “You and your liar of a friend can rot in hell for all I care.. you murderers..”

Purple looked into his eyes with a glint in his own. He dared for Zim to scream what he knew to be the truth but nothing would come. Zim just bit his quivering lower lip and looked to the ground again. He felt betrayed to his very core.

He would be judged for something someone else did and what did he do to give the other one the option to do so? He let himself be used by the one who lied to him from the very start.

~

Prison felt like nothing short of a vacation to Zim.

He was given snacks to keep himself fed and alive (which he didn't eat until his body truly demanded them, he saved them in a secret stash instead), a warm bed with an integrated recharge station and once a week he could take the equivalent of an Irken bath.

He did better in a fucking prison than he ever did in that stupid camp. Oh, the irony.

He heard the newest gossip from the stationed guards, at least what he could translate. They rarely talked about what happened on Irk since most of the other races were kind of happy about their fate (Zim was applauded by his cell neighbors actually, even when he said he did nothing).

What he did translate was who would become the next Almighty Tallest and he felt a cold shiver creeping up his back.

Did he feel anger? Was he furious with all those false accusations? No.

Did he feel used? Betrayed? Lied to in the worst way by the one he once trusted enough to show him the real Zim? Disappointed at himself for seriously believing Red would ever have meant anything he said or did, that he really wanted to be with Zim? Yes.

Zim couldn't see a difference between reality and fantasy anymore. He just knew that he hadn't been good for anything but that fucking beast.

~

The Control Brains chamber was secured by multiple guards and heavy looking, huge steel doors. The guards murmured to each other when Zim was brought to the door, carried like some kind of rag doll.

He hated being manhandled. 

But what he hated more was the fact that he would meet the liar again today, right after their 'coronation' to Almighty Tallest. Something neither of those two deserved if Zim had a say in it. But he didn't, so whatever they would be doing to him today would be way better then whatever this was now. 

He hadn't rested or recharged for three days. Every time he would close his eyes he would see a smile he'd come to hate, ruby eyes that looked at him so warmly and yet so cold at the same time. He would hear those dreaded words that hurt him so much in the aftermath.. sometimes he swore he could even feel his touches on his body and Zim would wake up screaming bloody murder, punching the air around him until he'd realize that he was all alone in his cell.

He prayed to whatever deity watching over little Irken that this nightmare would end for him today.

When he was carried inside he saw him in the corner of his eye, all clad in a red ceremonial robe that made him and his 'friend' look like saints. Purple was smirking like the devil he was, but Red? Red looked short of fainting. 

Ruby eyes watched him when he was pushed to the ground in the middle of the room, the Control Brains looming over him like some dark aura he didn't dare to examine too closely. He did turn to look at Red fully, mouthing 'You lied to me.' just to see the Tallest flinch a bit. Or maybe he imagined that.

Purple shouted his orders, the deleting of memories concerning the night he spend with the now Tallest Red.

On the outside he was screaming, but on the inside he thanked the purple Tallest for the only good thing he would ever have done to him. 

The only thing no one but the Control Brains would ever know was the little conversation from PAK to Brains when they connected, with Zim begging the Brains to delete Red from his memories completely before he fell into the black void.

-

~The Present~

“GIR! Stop eating all the nachos!” Zim screamed through his PAKs communicator when he saw his robot companion in his security feed, sneaking into the kitchen to steal said nachos from their hiding place. Not that GIR would listen, mind you.

Zim ran a hand over his face and turned back to his project sitting in front of him on a metal slap. The human called Keef looked at him with red, unblinking eyes and smiled dumbly with an open mouth. He was salivating in endless amounts and Zim had given up on wiping his mouth with a napkin to save his lab from the fluids.

No reason fighting a lost battle.

“Computer, watch his vital stats, and call the Tallest!” He then commanded and the enthusiastic answer came after three seconds.

“..Fine.” 

Zim walked over to his biggest screen and waited for the communication line to establish. The Irken symbol was laughing at him like always, and as always he had to wait for his call to be picked up.

When he still stood there after two hours he wondered if the Massive really was that busy today. 

“Master, the Massive is not responding to our call. Shall I try it again later?” The computer asked in its deep voice and Zim finally sighed.

“Do that.” He watched the insignia vanish into pixels and looked back to the human. Still no change in demeanor. Another sigh. This day would end being another wasted one.

The Massive didn't respond to his calls for nearly a month now and Zim grew restless. Maybe he needed to hack into their system again to find the problem, not like it would be his first time doing that.

With nothing better to do than watching the security feed showing GIR devouring his nachos he went to his work desk and plopped down on the chair. While earth was a stupid dirt planet with even stupider inhabitants it certainly did have a knack for furniture, as he had found a chair that fit to his body like it was made for him. He suppressed the purr that rose up in him whenever he would sit down and lean back and instead studied the things he could work on for the rest of the day, piled up on his desk in heap that looked like trash. Most of it was trash, to be honest.

His eyes fell on the strange letter he had found in his PAK when he had last worked on it. It itched him to know of its origins, since he recognized the hand writing as his own, but since when did Irkens write on organic material?

And who was this Red?

Some part of him did wonder once, if this ominous Irken had been Tallest Red, but Zim had laughed at himself after a minute. Never ever was he the one this letter was for, that was just stupid! But still, some doubt would remain.

If he could establish a connection with the Massive for longer than just a few minutes he would ask Tallest Red if he knew something Zim didn't, but he seriously doubted that would ever happen. He could lose his mission if he falsely accused Tallest Red of something, even if it was just something as simple as being the named person in a letter.

Maybe this 'Red' was just a pseudonym for someone else he had forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> Since Zim can't remember anything the only one who is hurting when he sees him is Red (and Purple, but that's another story). Also, on a side note, the speach thingy between PAK and the Control Brains is something I made up to give Zim some peace. Let's be real, if he had kept his memories of his friendship with Red with just the sex missing he would have hurt, too. AND he would have been able to guess who took his beast. So he kinda did both Red and Purple a favor with forgetting completely. 
> 
> Did I ever mention that I love to hurt the ones I love the most? Yeah, that's me. *shrugs*


End file.
